Hello. It’s me…

So I should open this post by saying:

“Hi, my name is XXX and I’m a bad blogger. It’s been 3 months since my last post.”

Yup…I suck. I’ve committed the worst (most cliché) blogging crime.

Alas, it is what it is. I have that Adele song stuck in my head, hence today’s title. I wish I could say I’m jumping back into the swing of things because a brilliant topic has just struck me. I actually have a whole list of brilliant marketing topics to talk about, but I’ve been feeling unmotivated to write about them. I know, it’s so unlike me!

What I really want to talk about are things less specific to marketing, and more about work life in general. I’m so sorry to tease you with my reemergence only to fail to deliver a useful marketing insights. I think there will be some nuggets in here.

The rest of this is for me. I give you permission to stop reading now.

No? Okay, here it is…

I think I’ve been feeling uninspired to write not because I don’t have things to say, but because I have hesitated to say them. I’m mad at myself for admitting that, and even madder (word?) at myself for censoring myself because I created this blog literally for the purpose of allowing myself to share what’s on my mind, uncensored (it’s in the logo!!). Once again I’ll say it…I suck.

So here’s what’s been on my mind…I’m afraid of being mediocre. Being mediocre when I believe I could have been better frustrates the shit out of me. I’m about to have a birthday, and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much since the last one. When I get invited to attend a conference I think to myself ‘shit [self], why didn’t you get invited to speak?‘ And then I read the bios of the speakers and think ‘wow, they’ve accomplished so much more than me. dammit.

And here’s what’s even scarier. I’m sick. I have serious health problems and I hate to admit it, but they might get in my way. I refuse to accept it, but it scares me every day. My life choices have become colored by this malady that is this body I was born with. I frequently see stories of people who achieved great things despite the odds and obstacles and it doesn’t inspire me, it scares me because despite trying, I haven’t achieved those things and I’m already tired.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life and I’m very lucky…but I could do more. I could be more. I could….but I’m not.

My (non work) life is distracting me from my work life more now than ever before. And as I’ve become this distracted (some may say more normal and balanced) person I have realized something: most other people (not the crazy work obsessed ‘successful’ people I look up to, but normal people) are distracted and looking for balance in their lives, too. This means they’re not thinking about their jobs and what shit we’re trying to market (sell) to them all day every day.

I used to look at every email that hit my inbox. Now, if it’s not from someone I know, I delete it immediately. Without a second thought. I’m so busy, stressed out, and distracted that I don’t have the time or emotional energy to look at one single email more than I have to. And it occurs to me that may be true for my (our) audience, too.

I used to think sending marketing emails so that hit an exec’s inbox on a Sunday evening was brilliant. S/he’s probably checking email before the Monday chaos hits, and their admin isn’t getting in the way deleting potentially unwanted emails.  It’s the perfect time to stand out and get their attention. Now I’m the recipient of that brilliant idea and it get’s my attention only long enough to frustrate me that I might start my Monday morning with unread emails. Solution: delete with fury (I hate people like me).

People who have waitressed before will tell you that they carry great sympathy and respect for their waitress when they’re good, and the opposite when they’re not so good. I feel similarly about marketers, and bad marketing emails make me extra critical and extra cranky. I used to at least review them and give them a thought. Now I don’t have the time. Delete.

What’s my point? More people are probably like me (now). Marketers have a tough job ahead of them. We all say it: Right person, right message, right time. And that’s right. And it’s hard. It takes discipline, thought and effort. And god dammit I just do not have the patience for undisciplined, inconsiderate, lazy marketers.

I’m so afraid of becoming that marketer. You should be, too.

If you’re still reading, thank you. My last piece of wisdom to share today is the there’s something very cathartic about writing down your thoughts. You should try it.

Sassy Marketer out.

 

 

P.S. Another cathartic activity is adult coloring books. A friend and former coworker turned me on to it during a rough time. Hence the image accompanying this post.

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#C2C16 in a (sassy) nutshell

This was my first time at Demand Gen Report’s annual B2B marketing conference – Content2Conversion – and it probably will not be my last. I’ve never written a post-event blog post because I’ve never felt I had enough good things to say. In true form, I naturally have a bit of sass to bestow upon them, but for the most part it’s good stuff. Here we go:

Interactive sessions are a great way to benchmark where you stand in the marketing evolution hierarchy (i.e. who sucks worse than you).

Day 1 of the conference consisted of workshops presented by DemandGen Report’s partners (vendors). Because Demand Gem Report makes a business out of publishing content of interest, they were well in-tune with their audience and succeeded in giving us a variety of sessions which all seemed topically relevant. In fact, I had trouble selecting a session, but in the end I settled for Televerde’s session on integrating digital, nurture and human touch. Nothing they said was earth-shattering or new. In fact, the most earth-shattering part of the session for me was that when the room was shown a slide of very basic and standard funnel benchmark metrics and asked who measures each stage of the funnel against those benchmarks today – I was the ONLY person who raised my hand! (#wtfmoment)

Though perhaps not intended, the speakers managed to incite enough interest and questions that the audience became actively engaged and we all were not only asking questions, but we were answering each others. This interaction made the session more rich and beneficial to all. It also reminded me that there are many many marketers still looking in the window or barely crossing the threshold of what I would consider to be the most fundamental of demand gen marketing practices, such as funnel definition, management & measurement; persona segmentation, integrated automated multi-touch campaigns, lead nurture, and lead scoring (so many blog topics!!) If you have a good handle on these things, well done! You may not be as behind as you think you are.

Marketers are both the puppets and puppeteers of buzz words (#ABM)

This is the part of my post where I say #ABM. Any presenter who didn’t at least mention ‘Account-Based Marketing’ missed the memo that this is a mysterious concept you must embrace (or pretend to). During my networking adventures I took every opportunity to throw out this buzz word and see how people responded and ask them what it means. Interestingly (and surprisingly) I found myself identifying most closely with the sales folks at this event. Why? Because to them our recent obsession with ABM is irritatingly laughable. ACCOUNT-BASED MARKETING IS NOT NEW. It’s what sales has been doing for years and what any marketer worth their salt and properly aligned to sales should have been doing, too.

Marketers, you’ve all been puppet-mastered into salivating at any vendor who uses this term. Don’t you know when you’re being marketed to? Whoever started this bandwagon in motion was brilliant because now any vendor willing to sacrifice a little dignity to exploit this buzz word  is making bank on essentially re-branding what all marketers should already be doing.

Killer keynotes make a conference – David Meerman Scott and Tim Riesterer KILLED it.

I won’t lie, one reason I was very much motivated to come to this conference was to hear David Meerman Scott speak. I was sure he’d be as dynamic a speaker as he is a writer, and he did not disappoint. He taught us:

  • Content is not its own thing that is created just because. It should be designed for both marketing and for sales, and more importantly, should be so timely and relevant that it is REAL TIME. In fact, he says companies that do this well hire journalists to create content (it was at this point in the program Donald Trump was mentioned – we can’t deny he does real-time marketing very very well).
  • Make your information free. There’s been a lot of talk about whether or not to gate content. Mr. Scott says no…or at least, not right away. He actually poses an interesting suggestion, which I’d like to see play out in practice: Don’t gate your content that you publish online – offer a link to something else within your content, and gate that. I like this idea, but to pull it off marketers will have to exercise some discipline and resist the temptation to post all their content online, which also has implications for SEO.
  • Be human. B2B does not equal boring. Every B2B company I have ever worked for would disagree. They put great effort into being boring. I 100% agree that B2B marketing is about marketing and selling to people, and more and more people are buying for business like they buy for themselves. The influencers may not be kids and the co-decider may not be a spouse, but the same rules apply. If you don’t think people’s personal preferences and emotions play a role in the B2B buying process you haven’t been a B2B buyer. It’s harder to choose a data vendor that makes everyone in your business family happy than it is to buy a family car. I think in our hearts we all know this, but somehow we still suck at wiping out the corporate bullshit speak and talking like a human.

Tim Riesterer, from Corporate Visions, applied scientific and academic structure to messaging concepts which really are common sense, and he did so in a most entertaining way. I am admittedly a psychology geek and according to Tim, so are 85% of marketers. But I think even the unenlightened 15% of marketers in the room would agree that Tim’s insights were on-point to both excite and incite. His main message: Your biggest competitor in a deal is not the other company, but the status quo – the choice to do nothing. This takes a little extra thought and creativity in your approach to messaging, but it’s nothing off-the-handle. Demand Gen report sums it up beautifully, so you can read more here.

This nutshell is getting long, so I’ll wrap up with this:

Almost everything we know about marketing is common sense. That’s why you frequently hear the joke ‘everyone is a marketer.’ What makes a marketer great is the ability to ACT on common sense in an effective and efficient way, MEASURE the results, and ADJUST. Sounds obvious and maybe a little boring, right? It a skill. And not an easy one.

Some marketing teams have it down, but following this conference I sense that many of you do not. That’s okay, it means you have a good reason to have a job. I hope you’re making a sincere effort to put into practice the things you’ve learned. The trick is to take one leg of the journey at a time. You know point A (where you are) and you know point B (where everyone says you should be going). If you can’t find your way without a map, there are plenty experts that can help get you from A to B, but my advise to you is don’t close your eyes and just let someone drive you there. To be a good marketer you have to learn how to navigate new routes, so let the experts guide and teach you, because point B will never stop changing. The good news is you will never stop learning, which means more conferences (hopefully with as much sun and booze as #C2c16).

 

WTF Moment: ‘Crowdsourced’ Data for Sale

I’ve been hard at work on what I hope will be a helpful and insightful post about how I approach building my marketing tech stack. However, I just had an experience that I had to share immediately, so the other post can wait.

Does anyone remember the old days of Jigsaw and how that database was built up? Maybe you know of Jigsaw, but you don’t know how they got their data. Well let me tell you: it was built on the concept of ‘crowdsourcing.’ Jigsaw had 2 types of customers: those that paid for access to the database, and those that earned it. How was it earned? By entering data into the database. For every XX# of contact records you entered, you earned access to information on X# of records you were looking for. This data had to be entered by hand, which theoretically would make it more accurate than a file which was imported in mass, right? Hm, ok sure.

For small companies with a small marketing budget, this seemed like a beautiful thing, but there are some critical flaws in the model:

  • Presumably, the company entering the data would only be entering data they owned and had a right to share, such as their own employee records. But the deal was the number of records entered must exceed he number consumed, so what’s the likelihood that a small company has more employees on staff than prospecting targets? Strike one.
  • But wait! I’m forgetting the big companies, surely they have a sufficient employee database size to share in exchange for prospecting data provided by others? They might, but they also have sufficient budgets to buy the data they want outright. Strike two.
  • Ok, you might be thinking that there must be some validity to the assertion that data entered by hand with care and intention must be better. I attest that is a nice theory but utter hooey. I feel I have the authority to say that because I was the person entering that data by hand. Yup, in college I had a part-time job for a small company entering data from a 100 page paper packet of employee roster names acquired from who-the-hell-knows-where into Jigsaw so that my employer could extract prospect names. If you ever engage in an unedited virtual exchange with me you’d realize pretty quickly that any data entered by me was probably riddled with typos. Now, I’m sure this was NOT Jigsaw’s intent, but that was the reality. Strike 3.

At this point, by the rules of baseball we’d say this is sufficient to call “OUT!” but I can’t help but mention one more teeny-weeny detail that others may consider a non-issue but frankly. gets my blood boiling: ethics. By global standards, the US is a pretty liberal country when it comes to data privacy laws. What I just outlined above simply wouldn’t be legal in many other countries. In the US, it is, so let’s put the legality of the matter aside, and ignore the logical shortcomings identified above and just focus on the ethics of it all.

Ethics are not black and white, but for the most part (and forgive me this oversimplification) I think most ethical issues can be boiled down to this: the golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Would you want your personal information pimped out for the gain of your company? I think most people would say “no.”

Ok, enough background ranting…fast forward to today:

This morning (very early I might add) I received a phone call from a company, which will not be named, attempting to sell me crowdsourced data. The enthusiastic sales guy cited all the great reasons (listed above) that crowdsourced data is superior, and even cited pre-acquisition Jigsaw as the model they have emulated. Apparently, in 10 years we have not evolved a sense of self-awareness, logic, or morals to apply to this methodology. Sigh.

However, we have achieved an evolution of technology. Gone are the days of manual data entry into a dedicated platform. And gone are the days where we have to waste valuable time tediously picking and choosing whose data we will share. Now, all we need to do is install a nifty app onto our phones and it will scan and extract all of our contacts’ data for us, send it to the vendor and be instantly available on the market for anyone who wants to buy it. WTF?!

I actually don’t know whether this is true, but presumably since this is a real company, that means that it is lawful for me to decide to install an application onto my phone and share the personal contact information of my fiends, family and colleagues with another company who will then sell that information to other companies. I won’t even give contact info of my colleagues to someone who I know and asks for a referral without the consent of the colleague whom I would like to refer. Call me over-cautious but that, to me, is simply common courtesy and good business behavior.

It took everything in my power to graciously explain why this was not something I was personally interested in for my own moral reasons, nor was it something I felt my company would be interested in. My lack of enthusiasm was apparently baffling to the person on the other end of the line. Maybe it was because I hadn’t yet had my morning coffee (yes, it was that early), or maybe I’m just a bad American, but the lack of comprehension for why this is an egregious offense and horrifying business model had my blood pumping and my ears burning. What’s worse, obviously there are people out there that install this app and betray their contacts, and there are companies that buy and use this data. Presumably to riddle my inbox with SPAM and blow up my phone with obnoxious calls all day long.

Note to my friends, family and colleagues: if you give away or sell my contact data for any reason unsanctioned by me, we’re fighting.