An open letter to Oracle: You conquered Eloqua and broke it, and I don’t forgive you

Dear Oracle,

I think everyone will agree that when England plopped their flag on American soil people suffered. They expected the natives who were already there to be grateful to the English for bringing them ‘civilized society’ and pretty bells and whistles. In reality, what they did was impose rules that belittled the natives and took away their voice, and gave them a bunch of shit they didn’t need (including diseases like chicken pox, cholera, whooping-cough and syphilis, by the way).

In the last few years you’ve been plopping your flag all over marketing tech soil and acting like we should be thankful, but some of us are suffering. You probably think we should appreciate that we have easy access to a broader ‘civilized’ society of options to fill our marketing tech stack. And you probably expect us to be excited about the investments you’re making to bring us new bells and whistles. In theory, we also benefit from the protection and cost savings that comes with giving our allegiance to a single large entity.

All these things could be great, except they’re not. I don’t care about a one-stop shop for my tech stack. I want the best and I’ll get it from 10 different vendors if that’s what it takes. Your civilized rules belittle your customers, eliminate transparency and take away our voice. I was one of thousands, now I’m one of hundreds of thousands and it’s clear you don’t care about me. My husband knows more about Eloqua from listening to me talk about it over dinner for the last 8 years than your ‘help desk’ knows about it. Your huge society is riddled with diseases, which you’ve passed around to IT departments, HR departments, and now you’ve passed them on to marketing departments.

Your colonization of marketing technology has benefited you more than your people. Do the laws of the land protect the poor people who suffer? No! We pay our dues to the governing body and hope they put it toward good use. The new immigrants to your marketing tech environment might think you’re great, but as a native, I know better. You broke Eloqua physically and spiritually.

Eloqua used to be a partner. They were committed to the success of their customers. Now I feel like we’re just a number – one more insignificant customer you’re amassing in your pursuit of world domination. When Eloqua doesn’t work properly (which happens a LOT nowadays), you have three ways of handling it:

  1. act like the customer doesn’t know what they’re talking about (which probably works with 80% of them, because they don’t know what they’re talking about);
  2. make them jump through hoops of internal troubleshooting and documentation until they either give up or do all the work for you (lucky for me I have a team of in-house experts, but those who don’t must default to #1);
  3. categorically deny there is a problem (until it’s fixed and then act like you proactively identified a problem and solved it before anyone suffered…well done, you).

Eloqua used to be transparent. When something went wrong, which happened a lot less but did happen, they told us about it. We got updates and were told the cause once resolved. Oracle’s policy seems to be: ignore, deny, deny, fix it (maybe), deny, ignore.  

Eloqua used to work. I may have subtly alluded to this already, but as a SaaS application, Eloqua is going down hill. I don’t think a week goes by where we’re not impacted by some minor bug. And we have had 5 significant system function failures in the last 18 months. Prior to your conquering of Eloqua I can only think of 2 major issues in 6 years. What happened? Did you grow your empire too fast and now you don’t have enough food to go around, so you’re allowing some of us to starve? I’m a highly advanced high-tech marketer and I WANT the best and newest bells and whistles. But more than that, I want the most fundamental of marketing automation functions to WORK. And it’s a god-damned shame that I have to spend my time fighting fires for the most basic functionality rather than trying out new automation tech features.

Eloqua used to be the best. It wasn’t for everyone – it was for those who wanted to be the best. Anyone who has attended an Oracle marketing event in the last couple of years will probably agree that Eloqua is no longer focused on those that want to be the best – it’s about those who want to pay the most. I used to learn something and be inspired at Eloqua conferences. I would get the chance to learn from people who were doing things I hadn’t thought of, yet. Yes, there were newbie-level sessions as well, but where Eloqua really shined was in its ability to bring in thought leaders who were on the cutting edge of marketing tech and methodologies. Now, it’s all about the novice users and getting people to go broader rather than deeper into the Oracle tech. I could have given every presentation I saw at the last MME conference on-the-spot, with my eyes closed, while standing in a yoga tree-pose.

In summary: Eloqua used to be great. Obviously you recognized this fact, because you bought it. But then you broke it and its greatness is deteriorating. I cannot forgive the shortcomings that now exist in the application and the customer service experience. The policies, attitude, and technical shortcomings you’ve imposed upon Eloqua and its customers are ruining Eloqua for me and I’d encourage you to have a look back on what Eloqua used to be and take steps to fix it.

Love,
The Sassy Marketer

P.S. Some comedic relief:

UPDATE

I think it’s worth sharing that Eloqua/Oracle has reached out to understand and address these concerns, and while I think they have a lot of work to do to bring back the old Eloqua pizzaz I believe they’re committed to refocusing on the customer. I give credit where it’s due. Shoutout to @joe_kilduff

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4 thoughts on “An open letter to Oracle: You conquered Eloqua and broke it, and I don’t forgive you

  1. Same thing applies to Salesforce — both Pardot and ExactTarget were wonderful partners to work with prior to that acquisition. Much better a partner than Eloqua ever was (I did nearly 3-years on Eloqua — or as my dear friend in the banking industry called it, “Helloqua”).

    Imagine Oracle buying Salesforce sometime in the near future.

    Oye . . .

    BFey

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